《新编大学英语》综合教程（第三版第二册）B2U2_Self-market_Reading Material_How Can Men and Women Improve Communication

How Can Men Women Improve Communication? Jennifer Marlowe Communication problems between men and women date back through evolution.Women continue to baffle men,while men baffle women.Creating good communication skills between the sexes,however,isn't hopeless.Improving communication involves learning the basics of listening,accepting differences,showing empathy and focusing attention. Gender Differences According to the University of Delaware's Cooperative Extension,good communication occurs when a sender conveys a message and a receiver understands the message conveyed in a clear and accurate way.How individuals achieve a clear give-and-take of information seems to vary between the sexes. Women empathize more while listening to another person and tend to take in subtle cues, according to Cynthia Torppa,Ph D.,of the Ohio State Extension Office.While men focus on the literal words coming from someone's mouth,a woman may pay more attention to posture,tone of voice,facial expression and mood. Torppa believes men are more task-oriented,where communication is concerned,while women focus more on intimacy.In a theoretical conversation between a man and woman, for instance,a woman may say,"I'm exhausted.Work was nonstop and my boss is a jerk."The man,according to Torppa,responds with a solution like,"Take the day off tomorrow";or "Tell your boss off."Problem seemingly solved,the man walks off thinking the conversation is over.The woman,on the other hand,reacts with anger by saying,"You never listen to me." Women often expect a man to react with empathy like other women tend to.In the above example,the woman hoped her partner would simply listen to her complaints and feelings, or perhaps share similar concerns. Steps to Better Communication Learning about different communication styles between the sexes provides a foundation for making things better.Knowing men like to get straight to the point,for instance,a woman might craft her side of the conversation with that in mind,hopefully keeping her partner interested.Instead of creating a big buildup to the story,she makes her narrative shorter than normal,realizing she can share further details once the conversation has commenced. Understanding a woman's need to share similar experiences,a man can try harder to identify with the feelings she expresses.He must realize that while he thinks he's attempting to solve her problem,he has actually stopped listening,and sharing.In the earlier example,the man could respond to the woman's venting by answering,"I've had days like that too.I hate when I work hard and my boss doesn't appreciate my work

How Can Men & Women Improve Communication? Jennifer Marlowe Communication problems between men and women date back through evolution. Women continue to baffle men, while men baffle women. Creating good communication skills between the sexes, however, isn't hopeless. Improving communication involves learning the basics of listening, accepting differences, showing empathy and focusing attention. Gender Differences • According to the University of Delaware's Cooperative Extension, good communication occurs when a sender conveys a message and a receiver understands the message conveyed in a clear and accurate way. How individuals achieve a clear give-and-take of information seems to vary between the sexes. Women empathize more while listening to another person and tend to take in subtle cues, according to Cynthia Torppa, Ph.D., of the Ohio State Extension Office. While men focus on the literal words coming from someone's mouth, a woman may pay more attention to posture, tone of voice, facial expression and mood. Torppa believes men are more task-oriented, where communication is concerned, while women focus more on intimacy. In a theoretical conversation between a man and woman, for instance, a woman may say, "I'm exhausted. Work was nonstop and my boss is a jerk." The man, according to Torppa, responds with a solution like, "Take the day off tomorrow"; or "Tell your boss off." Problem seemingly solved, the man walks off thinking the conversation is over. The woman, on the other hand, reacts with anger by saying, "You never listen to me." Women often expect a man to react with empathy like other women tend to. In the above example, the woman hoped her partner would simply listen to her complaints and feelings, or perhaps share similar concerns. Steps to Better Communication • Learning about different communication styles between the sexes provides a foundation for making things better. Knowing men like to get straight to the point, for instance, a woman might craft her side of the conversation with that in mind, hopefully keeping her partner interested. Instead of creating a big buildup to the story, she makes her narrative shorter than normal, realizing she can share further details once the conversation has commenced. Understanding a woman's need to share similar experiences, a man can try harder to identify with the feelings she expresses. He must realize that while he thinks he's attempting to solve her problem, he has actually stopped listening, and sharing. In the earlier example, the man could respond to the woman's venting by answering, "I've had days like that too. I hate when I work hard and my boss doesn't appreciate my work

The woman,in the example,may specifically tell her partner how to meet her needs instead of assuming he will by instinct.She could say,"I need you to listen to my day,but not solve my problem.I just need someone to listen right now."By listening with sensitivity,and not in a problem-solving manner,his behavior makes the woman feel valued and understood. Above all else,acceptance is the first step in improving the communication.Men and women must make an effort to understand and accept the varied manner in which one another expresses ideas and feelings.Unless both parties feel a sense of security and trust, any possibility of good communication fades. http://www.ehow.com

The woman, in the example, may specifically tell her partner how to meet her needs instead of assuming he will by instinct. She could say, "I need you to listen to my day, but not solve my problem. I just need someone to listen right now." By listening with sensitivity, and not in a problem-solving manner, his behavior makes the woman feel valued and understood. Above all else, acceptance is the first step in improving the communication. Men and women must make an effort to understand and accept the varied manner in which one another expresses ideas and feelings. Unless both parties feel a sense of security and trust, any possibility of good communication fades. http://www.ehow.com