《新编大学英语》综合教程（第三版第三册）B3U1_Self-market_Writing Material_增强语句表现力的方法

增强语句表现力的方法 一避免使用语意弱的be”动词。 1把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如： Weak:The trees are bare.The grass is brown.The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape..(转换为前置定语) Or:The landscape,bare and brown,begged for spring green.(转换为并列结构作后置定语) 2将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如： 1)Weak:The team members are good players. Revision:The team members play well. 2)Weak:One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness. Revision:One worker's plan eliminates tardiness. 3在以here”或there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例 如： 1)Weak:There is no opportunity for promotion. Revision:No opportunity for promotion exists. 2)Weak:Here are the books you ordered. Revision:The books you ordered have arrived. 二多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如： 1 Poor:My supervisor went past my desk. Better:My supervisor sauntered(=walked slowly)past my desk 2 Poor:She is a careful shopper. Better:She compares prices and quality. 三尽量运用主动语态。例如： 1 Weak:The organization has been supported by charity. Better:Charity has supported the organization. 2 Weak:The biscuits were stacked ona plate. Better:Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate. 四防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如： 1 Wordy:My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk. Improved:My little sister prefers chocolate milk. 2 Wordy:We are in receipt ofyour letter and intend to follow your recommendations Improved:We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation

增强语句表现力的方法 一 避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。 1 把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如： Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision: The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语) Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语) 2 将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如： 1) Weak: The team members are good players. Revision: The team members play well. 2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness. Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness. 3 在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例 如： 1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion. Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists. 2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered. Revision: The books you ordered have arrived. 二 多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如： 1 Poor: My supervisor went past my desk. Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk. 2 Poor: She is a careful shopper. Better: She compares prices and quality. 三 尽量运用主动语态。例如： 1 Weak: The organization has been supported by charity. Better: Charity has supported the organization. 2 Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate. Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate. 四 防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如： 1 Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk. Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk. 2 Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations. Improved: We have received yourletter and intended to follow your recommendation

3 Redundant:We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire. Improved:We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire. 4 Redundant:My sister and I bought the same,identical dress in different stores. Improved:My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores. 五杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如： I Weak:They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form. Improved:They will not agree to any of his proposals. 2 Weak:I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall. Improved:I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall

3 Redundant: We had a serious crisis atschool yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire. Improved: We had a crisis atschool yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire. 4 Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dressin different stores. Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores. 五 杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如： 1 Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form. Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals. 2 Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall. Improved: I need herfinancial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall